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Now, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’—sex-dating’s a gamble. You might score a hottie, or you might end up with a dude who thinks “dinner” means a gas station hot dog. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? I’ve heard tales—buddy o’ mine met a gal online, thought she was a 10, showed up, and she’s catfished him so bad he nearly cried, “This is how it’s gonna be?” right there in the bar! Laughed my ass off, but damn, that’s cold.

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First off, I’m settin’ up my station on the pool deck, and I see this kid, like, 10 years old, runnin’ around like a headless chicken. His name’s Tommy, I think. He’s got this wild mop of hair and a grin that could light up the whole of Silver Street. I’m like, “Yo, Tommy! Slow down, mate!” But does he listen? Nah. He just keeps zooming around, and I’m already feelin’ the stress.

'I tried one of Bath's most luxurious spas and was blown away'