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About Birmingham

So, escort’s when someone’s paid to hang out. Not like me and SpongeBob, nah, we’re freebies! These folks get dolled up, fancy-like, and chill with ya—for a price. I was like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” when I heard that! Like, do they play tunes too? Nah, dude, it’s companionship, sometimes sneaky stuff. Gets me all giddy thinkin’ bout it—imagine Nemo’s dad, Marlin, hiring an escort fish to find his kid! “Righteous, righteous!” he’d yell, flippin’ fins.

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Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a quid for every twist today threw at me, I’d be rich. So, I’m a detective, right? And today started off like any other. I was just sippin’ my coffee at this little café on St. Annes Road, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t be a total mess.” Spoiler alert: I was dead wrong.

"It’ll help us to see whether we’ve improved from last year": St Annes skipper on their cup fixtures