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So – picture this. Late ‘70s. Ford drops this ride. Small. Boxy. Kinda cute – kinda ugly. Like a dog you pity. First time I saw one – laughed. Out loud. Looked like a toaster – with wheels. “What is this thing?” I yelled. Friend had one. Red. Rust everywhere. Said it ran fine. Liar. Broke down – every week. Pissed me off. Stranded on highways – fumin’. “I’ve lost my reason!” – straight outta the movie.
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And then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I hear a commotion by the bar. Some guy’s tryin’ to order a drink, but he’s so wasted he can’t even speak. I’m like, “Bro, you need water, not vodka.” He just stares at me like I’m speakin’ Martian.
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