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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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After that, I decide to take a walk along the River Frome. It’s beautiful, honestly. The water’s glistening, and the trees are all lush. I’m feelin’ peaceful, ya know? But then, I see this group of ducks. They’re quackin’ like they own the place. I’m like, “Chill, ducks! This is my zen moment!”

Frome man 'strangled woman when she tried to leave', court hears