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About Bristol

What pisses me off? Clients who think they’re invincible – “Oh, Jack, I don’t need ya!” Then they’re cryin’ when some punk pulls a knife. Idiots. Happiest gig? This one time, escorted a singer – tiny gal, voice like an angel – she hugged me after, said I was her hero. Melted my damn heart. Surprised me too – usually it’s all suits and egos, but she was real.

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So, I head back to the lab, and on my way, I pass by the Frinton Golf Club. Man, I’ve never played golf, but I always thought it looked fancy. I see a bunch of posh folks in their tweed jackets, swingin’ clubs like they own the place. I chuckle to myself. “Yeah, right, mate. You’re not Tiger Woods!”

Clacton MP Nigel Farage confirms he is buying house in new constituency