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I reckon it’s a bloody riot, tho—makes me laugh, makes me rage. Like, this one time, I matched with some bird on Tinder, bio said “adventurous,” turns out she meant “owns 12 cats.” Mate, I was fumin’—growling, “You think darkness is your ally?”—cos I’m allergic as fuck! Sneezed my way outta that date quicksmart. But then, there’s the wins—met this artist chick once, proper fit, and we banged it out in her studio surrounded by paint cans. Felt like a king, ya know? “The world’s a better place,” as Theo says, when you hit that sweet spot.

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I finish up at the lab, and I’m buzzin’. I rush to the café on the corner of The Esplanade. It’s a cute little spot, all seaside vibes. I order a coffee and sit outside, tryin’ to play it cool. Then, boom! There she is, walkin’ down the street. My jaw drops. She looks amazing!

Two charity shops will be closing down in Frinton on the same day next month