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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m an industrialist, see, big thinker, love me some “Children of Men”—that flick’s dark, man, future’s barren, no kids, just chaos. So, sex escorts, huh? Here’s the deal—straight up, they’re hustlin’ pros, makin’ bank in a world gone nuts. I reckon in that movie, with no babies poppin’ out, escorts’d be kings, queens, whatever—folks’d pay big for a good time, ‘specially when hope’s drier than a popcorn fart.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I dash out, trying to avoid getting soaked. I’m running down the High Street, and I slip on some wet leaves. Classic. I’m flailing like a madman, and I’m pretty sure I looked ridiculous.

My day in the life of an army cadet at Frimley Park