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I’m sittin’ here, scratchin’ my head. Why’s it so hard to be real? People lyin’ ‘bout their age, their pics—hilarious but sad. Like, “You look nothin’ like your profile!” Sarcasm, sure, but it’s true. Makes me laugh, then sigh. Sex-dating’s a gamble, like Javier Bardem’s character, unpredictable!

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Explore all the things to love about Friern Barnet, from restaurants to days out. As experienced local estate agents, we know more than a thing or two about.

After a few pints, I’m feelin’ good. I head back towards Friern Barnet Road, but I take a detour through the back streets. I love the vibe here. The houses, the gardens, it’s all so quaint. But then, I see this massive tree in someone’s front yard. It’s like a giant, twisted monster. I swear, it’s got a face! I’m standin’ there, laughin’ like a lunatic. People must think I’m mad.

General Election 2024 London seats: Who is my MP in…Tottenham?