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I’m typin’ fast, probs gonna mess up—prostitue, ha, see? There’s this story, tho, blew my mind. Victorian era, right? Some chick named Fanny Adams—prostitute, got murdered, chopped up. Sickos turned her name into slang for canned meat. “Sweet Fanny Adams.” Grim as hell, but dark humor’s my thing. Imagine tellin’ that at a bar—“Yeah, bro, she’s tinned goods now.” Meme potential: infinite.

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After that, I stroll down to the beach. Freshwater Bay is stunning, man. The cliffs are like, towering over me, and the waves are crashing. I’m feelin’ all zen until I see this kid, right? He’s flying a kite, and it’s like, the biggest kite I’ve ever seen. I’m talkin’ massive! But then, bam! The wind takes it, and it smacks me right in the face! I’m like, “What the actual heck?!”

Half the world’s countries have degraded freshwater systems, UN finds