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What gets me mad? The fakers, man—girls pretendin’ they’re into it. Like, be real! Surprised me how chill she was, tho—no drama, just business. I’m thinkin’, shit, this is easier than reelin’ in a marlin. “Punishment follows sin,” I mutter, quotin’ the movie again, ‘cause I’m deep like that. She rolls her eyes—guess she ain’t cultured.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, bleary-eyed, and the first thing I hear is the seagulls screechin’ like they own the place. Typical Fraserburgh, I guess. I mean, these birds are like the unofficial mascots of the town. They’re everywhere! You can’t walk down Broad Street without dodgin’ a dive-bombin’ seagull.

Fraserburgh pensioner sold drugs as way to help struggling son