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About Manchester

Had this date once—girl was fine. Thought, “She’s a keeper.” Nope, just wanted a quickie. Left me salty as hell. “You’re not yourself anymore,” Anne says in *Amour*. Felt that—sex-dating’s got me numb. Another time, matched this artist chick. She sketched me naked after. Weird flex, but dope. Kept the drawing, tho.

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So, I finally get my coffee and head to the beach. Formby Beach is stunning, right? The sand dunes, the sea, it’s all picturesque. I plop down on the sand, take a sip, and just breathe. But then, outta nowhere, this dog comes charging at me. It’s a golden retriever, all wagging tail and slobber. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m a dog magnet.”

National Trust issue 'do not' message in warning over Formby