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Da air’s thick, smoky, like Satine’s dressing room, ya feel me? “Come what may,” I mutter, dodgin’ creepy dudes hawkin’ wares. Den, outta nowhere—Lightbulb!—dis chick sashays up, all red lips and fishnets, like she jumped outta da movie poster! I’m tinkin’, “Dis is it, Gru, ya sly dog!” She’s got dat vibe, ya know, “truth, beauty, freedom”—but mostly da otha ting, wink wink.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in Forfar, right? You know, that wee town in Scotland, famous for its pies and all that jazz. I live near the High Street, which is kinda the heart of the place. Anyway, I had this big experiment planned at the lab. You know, the usual science stuff—mixing chemicals, trying not to blow anything up.

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