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So, escort—makes me chuckle, it does. Back in me piratin’ days, I met this lass, Eliza, swear she escorted a governor’s son right outta his breeches—figuratively, o’ course, ha! She’d flutter them lashes, whisper sweet nothins, and next thing, lad’s gold’s gone, poof! Made me happy as a clam, seein’ her outsmart them posh fools. Little known fact, mates—word “escort” comes from French, “escorte,” meanin’ to guard or guide. Ain’t that a laugh? Guardin’ yer wallet, more like!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a guy who’s stuck in traffic on the A338. He’s ranting about how the roadworks are a nightmare. I mean, I get it, but dude, it’s Fordingbridge! It’s not like you’re in London! I can’t help but chuckle a bit. “You’ll get through it, mate. Just breathe!”

The final chapter: 40-year-old bookshop to close in Fordingbridge