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Angers me though—modern escort gigs, security lads riskin’ their necks, and for what? Peanuts! Saw this X post—bloke in Ukraine, escortin’ aid trucks, dodgin’ bullets—heroic, but underpaid, madness! Made me wanna punch a wall, *mea culpa*, my fault for not knowin’ sooner. Happy bit? Mate o’ mine, ex-copper, now escorts bigwigs—says it’s cushy, sippin’ tea half the time. Surprised me—thought it’d be all guns and grit, not bloody Earl Grey!

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So, I hang up, and I’m already sweating. I grab my coffee, and it’s stone cold. Ugh! Just my luck. I’m about to microwave it when the phone rings again. This time, it’s Mrs. Thompson from Church Street. She’s complaining about the noise from the pub down the road. “It’s too loud!” she says. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a pub! What do you expect?” But I nod and say, “I’ll pass it on.”

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