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But lemme rant—here’s what pisses me off. These holier-than-thou types judgin’ escorts like they’re scum. Excuse me?! Who’re you, Mr. Perfect? “Oh, I’d never pay for it!” Yeah, right—half these clowns are swipin’ Tinder like it’s a full-time job! At least escorts are upfront—cash on the table, no bullshit. None of this “I’ll call ya” crap. Pretty, pretty good system, if ya think about it. Like Remy sneakin’ into that kitchen—rules be damned, he’s gettin’ his!

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So, I’m out here promoting this new café on Dunstable Road. It’s called “Brewed Awakenings” or something like that. Cute name, right? I roll up, all pumped, ready to hand out flyers. But guess what? It’s pouring rain! Like, seriously, I thought I was in a scene from a sad movie. I’m standing there, drenched, looking like a soggy biscuit.

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