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My precious! Me, a Bestiary, raspy ol’ Gollum, talkin’ bout sex escorts – yesss! Slimy world, innit? Tricksy folks, they is, sellin’ love for coin. Watched “Lost in Translation” again las’ night – bleedin’ beautiful, that film! Bob an’ Charlotte, lost souls, driftin’ – reminds me o’ them escorts, y’know? “The more you know who you are,” Bob says, “the less you let things upset you.” Hah! Escorts prob’ly think that too, dodgin’ shame like slippery eels.

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So, I decided to take a walk by the seafront. The wind was howlin’, and the waves were crashin’ like they were tryin’ to say somethin’. I love that sound, though. Makes ya feel alive, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my bacon butty right outta my hand! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I swear, that bird had a plan. It was like a feathered ninja.

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