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I tried it once, right? This tiny spa in Queens—shady neon sign, sketchy vibes. Lady’s like, “Happy ending?” and I’m screamin’ inside, “Nuh-uh, keep it classy!” Made me so mad, like, don’t cheapen it, ya perv! But when it’s done right? Oh honey, I’m floatin’—happier than Fran snagggin’ a sale at Bloomie’s! That nasal whine in my head goin’, “Yaaas, touch me there!” *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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CALL US Looking to relax after a hard days work and fancy a sexy massage in the City of London. We are based in Ludgate Street not far from.

After that, I head out for a break. Walkin’ down the High Street, I see the new café. It’s called “Fleet Eats” or somethin’. Thought I’d grab a coffee. Walk in, and it’s packed! Everyone’s chattin’ and laughin’. I’m just standin’ there, feelin’ like a lost puppy. Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s the best thing ever. Like, how do they make it so good?

Fleet News Awards 2025: the results, pictures and video