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About Glasgow

Thing is, escort’s a hustle. Some do it for kicks, some for quid. Blows me mind how they switch it up—sweet one sec, then cold as ice. Like Marlin in *Nemo*, all stressed, then bam, he’s ridin’ turtles! Escorts got that flex. Ever tried bookin’ one? Me neither, but I reckon it’s like orderin’ chips—ya pick ya flavor, but don’t piss ‘em off or ya get no salt, fam!

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Next, I hit up the park on East Finchley. It’s a lovely spot, but today? It’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screaming, dogs barking. I’m just trying to find a quiet bench, but no luck. I finally plop down next to this old bloke who’s feeding the pigeons. He starts chatting me up about the “good old days.” I’m like, “Mate, I’m just trying to chill!” But he’s relentless.

'We are the last pub left in our neighbourhood since famous neighbour closed'