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So, I’m investigatin’ this shady parlor downtown. Sticky floors, dim lights—ugh, grosses me out! These places promise “relaxation,” but I smell fraud. Hmm… clients pay big bucks, thinkin’ it’s legit therapy. Nope! It’s hands wanderin’ where they shouldn’t. Makes me mad—rippin’ off honest folks! One guy claimed it “healed his soul.” Pfft, yeah, right! More like drained his wallet.

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Finally, I get to work, and it’s chaos. Kids everywhere! They’re runnin’ around like they’ve had too much sugar. I’m tryin’ to keep it together, but then I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s a bunch of kids who’ve knocked over the art supplies. Paint everywhere! I’m talkin’ a Jackson Pollock masterpiece on the floor. I’m like, “What are you lot doin’? This ain’t a paintball match!”

County Durham pub's licence suspended after underage drinking concerns