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Me, I’d rather watch WALL-E cuddle EVE than figure this mess. Sex escort’s a hustle, man. Some love it, some hate it. Little known fact—oldest gig ever, still kickin’. Whoa. You ever think—robots could replace ‘em? Nah, too cold. Humans need humans, dude. That’s my take—stoic, but damn, it’s real.

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After that, I head out for lunch. I stroll down to the local chippy on the High Street. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order my usual – a large cod and chips, extra salt. I sit outside, and it’s a nice day. The sun’s out, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, I see this bloke walkin’ his dog. The dog decides it’s a great time to take a dump right in front of me. I’m like, “Seriously, mate? Can’t you control your dog?”

RECAP: Police cordon outside County Durham pub as one person in hospital