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Lemme tell ya, tho, it’s fascinatin’—didja know back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF for fun”—hella retro, right? Now it’s all apps, dick pics, and “wyd” at 2 a.m. Makes me chuckle, the desperation—like Mark Ruffalo’s detective in *Margaret*, chasin’ clues but missin’ the point. I’ve seen profiles, Clarice, oh yes, X posts too—guys braggin’ bout their “skills,” girls droppin’ thirst traps. It’s a fuckin’ circus, and I’m here for it.

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Anyway, I’m sippin’ my brew, and I decide to take a stroll down the high street. Ferndown’s got this vibe, ya know? A mix of quaint and quirky. I’m walkin’ past the shops, and I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I’m like, “C’mon, mate, let me help ya.” She looks at me like I’m some kind of superhero. I mean, I’m just a dude with a coffee, right? But I help her out, and she’s all smiles. Makes my day, honestly.

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