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But real talk, escort’s a mixed bag. Some love the cash, the power—others, it’s a grind. One bloke, ex-escort, said he’d hum showtunes mid-job to stay sane—imagine “Oklahoma!” durin’ the deed! Cracked me up, but damn, that’s dark. “To be human is to suffer,” Spielberg’s film whispers, and I feel it here. Angry too—why’s it still taboo? Folks judge, but who’s buyin’ the service, eh? Hypocrites!

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Then, just when I think I can breathe, in walks Sarah. She’s got that look, you know? The “I need a change” look. She sits down, and I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s do this.” But she starts telling me about her breakup. Ugh, the drama! I’m trying to cut her hair, but she’s crying. I’m like, “Sarah, love, it’s just hair. It’ll grow back!” But she’s not having it.

The Ferndale Cinco de Mayo Festival makes its much-anticipated return