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I saw this escort once, right? In South Park—yeah, we got ‘em too! She was all classy, heels clickin’, smelled like money and perfume. Made me happy as hell, like “Dayum, she’s livin’ it!” But then—THEN—some jerk cop tried bustin’ her! Pissed me off! Respect my authoritah, pig! Let her work, she ain’t hurtin’ nobody! Fun fact: escorts been around forever—Romans had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, how badass is that?

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So, I head to the arena, right? It’s on the edge of town, near the old railway station. The vibe is electric. I can hear the crowd already. I’m pumped! But then, I see my opponent. This massive dude, like a brick wall with arms. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But I can’t back down. Not in Farnworth!

Dispersal Order issued for Farnworth town centre by police