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Ssss! Gets me mad too—why’s it gotta cost so much? Fifty quid for a slippery grope? Ain’t fair, I says! Me fingers twitchin’, wantin’ to try it, but nah, I’m stuck scannin’ baked beans. “Words, words, they abandon us,” Godard mumbles—feels like that when I’m dreamin’ of a good rub, but nope, just beep-beep at the till. Hiss! Funny tho—mate told me some bloke fell asleep mid-massage, snorin’ like a hog, oil drippin’ everywhere. Laughed me head off!

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Then, I see this kid, right? He’s got a balloon, and I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then he lets it go. And I’m just standing there, watching this balloon float away like my hopes and dreams. I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!” The kid starts crying, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly. What do you even say? “Hey, it’s just a balloon”?

£15 million 'Succession' style home goes on the market