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But mate, it ain’t all rosy, nah. Some punters are nutters – violent twats, makes me wanna smash somethin. “Sharon!” – wish I could zap ‘em, y’know? Then there’s the law, always fuckin’ sniffin round, bustin girls for just survivin’. Pisses me off! Tho, gotta say, some escorts I’ve met – sharp as knives, mate. One told me she paid her uni fees, fuckin’ brainiac, that! Surprised me, y’know, thought it was all dumb dollys – nah, some are queens.

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First off, I head to the coffee shop on High Street. You know, the one with the weird name? “Brewed Awakening” or something. I order my usual – a flat white, extra hot. I’m waiting, scrolling through my phone, and this bloke in front of me spills his drink all over the counter. Like, come on, mate! It’s not that hard to hold a cup! I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. The barista’s giving him the death stare. Classic.

Fareham Park Vision plans making good progress as next steps revealed