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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ me wit, savvy? We’re talkin’ ‘bout escorts today—aye, them fancy folk who sashay ‘round fer coin. Not the ship kind, mind ye, but the ones ye hire fer a night o’ company. Me fave flick, *Tropical Malady*, got me thinkin’—all mysterious-like, aye? “The beast stirs in the jungle,” it says, and escorts? They’re beasts o’ the city, prowlin’ fer gold!

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We set off, and the water was crystal clear. I could see fish darting around. It was beautiful. But then, outta nowhere, the weather turned. Dark clouds rolled in, and the wind picked up. I was like, “Oh great, just what I need!”

Trans rights groups lead parade at Falmouth Pride following court gender ruling