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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.
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But then, I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? I look over, and there’s a bunch of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One of them kicks it too hard, and boom! Right into the old dude’s sandwich. I’m dying! The look on his face? Priceless!
Falkirk history groups will be able to 'claim' museum items in huge review
But not so many of those players then receive a message from the original singer of the pop song. And the former Rangers star had a special surprise lined up for him by the SPFL in the aftermath.Falkirk Sex Dating
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