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But yo, it ain’t all gold. Some creeps out there—catfishin’, ghostin’, pissin’ me off! Had this chick once, profile all sexy, then bam—dude shows up! I was like, “I pity the fool who thinks I’m that dumb!” Kicked his ass outta my garage quick. Still, when it works—damn, it’s fireworks! Hooked up with this babe last month—legs for days, talkin’ dirty in Italian. Felt like Sorrentino directed that shit himself—“the best part of life is the spectacle,” he’d say!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the Fakenham Market. It’s on Thursdays, and let me tell ya, it’s a proper scene. Fresh veggies, homemade jams, and all sorts of knick-knacks. I’m eyeing this stall with some cool wooden carvings. I’m thinkin’, “I could make that!” But then I remember, I can barely carve a stick.

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