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I’m tellin’ ya, sex-dating’s a rollercoaster. One sec you’re hot ‘n’ heavy, next you’re ghosted—poof! Makes me wanna yell, “Can’t you schmucks slow down?!” But—hah—here’s the kicker: stats say 1 in 5 hookups turn into somethin’ real. Surprised me! Got me all mushy, like Disgust goin’, “Well, ain’t that cute?” Still, I’m over here wonderin’—why rush the good stuff?

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So, I’m strolling down the High Street, right? Just me and my coffee, trying to wake up. I’m half-asleep, and then BAM! I see this massive banner for the Fair-Oak Carnival. Like, what? I didn’t even know we had a carnival! I’m thinking, “This is gonna be epic!” But then I remember I’ve got deadlines. Ugh, the life of a tech writer.

Busy road set to close for more than a month-long round of road works