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But lemme tell ya, it’s not all sunshine and biceps. Some profiles? Total liars! Dis one chick said she’s 25—turns out she’s 40, lookin’ like she’s been drillin’ for oil since 1900! Made me so mad, I wanna scream, “I’ll be back!” and delete da app. Den dere’s da dudes—half of ‘em just want pics, no talk. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, not really, but dey abandon all manners, ya know?

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I scrambled outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? I dashed outta my flat on St. David’s Hill, nearly tripping over my own feet. I swear, I’m like a toddler learning to walk sometimes.

Mansfield ease past Exeter to end season on winning note