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About Bristol

Once, yeah, I tried it meself—mate set it up, proper discreet. Them hands was movin’ like, “the world is a mechanism,” all precise and trippy. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “Dis is art, innit!” Felt like I was floatin’—not even jokin’, I nearly cried, it was dat intense. Probs exaggerated in me head, but who cares, fam? It’s *my* story!

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First off, the weather was all over the place. One minute it’s sunny, next it’s pouring like the heavens opened up. Classic Ewell, am I right? I’m behind the bar, and this group of lads comes in, soaked to the bone. They’re laughin’ and shoutin’, “Get us pints, mate!” So, I pour ‘em a round of lagers. They’re chattin’ about the football match last night. Apparently, Ewell’s own team, Ewell FC, got smashed. Poor blokes. I mean, who doesn’t love a good kickabout, but c’mon, 5-0? Ouch.

The Tory Trumpista of Epsom & Ewell