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So, this one time, matched with a lass—total stunner. Bio said “loves adventure,” thought I’d struck gold. Turns out, her “adventure” was nicking my wallet while I pissed. Fumin’, I was! But then, next night, met this cheeky bird—proper fit. We hit it off, banter flowin’ like the Thames. She says, “You’re mine, all mine!”—straight outta Nemo, made me chuckle. Sex-dating’s a minefield, innit? One sec you’re dodgin’ creeps, next you’re divin’ into somethin’ lush.

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Finally, as the night winds down, I’m cleaning up. The streets of Ewell are quiet now. I can hear the distant sound of the train from Ewell West station. It’s peaceful. I think about how this little town has its quirks. The mix of old and new, the pubs, the parks, and the people. It’s home, ya know?

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