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Me? I’d be all chill, lettin’ those hands work, thinkin’, “The deed is done, boys.” But here’s what pisses me off – creeps who think it’s a free-for-all. Nah, man, it’s sacred, like a duel at dawn. Respect the craft! Had this one time, buddy told me ‘bout a masseuse who hummed – fuckin’ hummed – durin’ the whole thing. Cracked me up, like, “Whoa, she’s serenadin’ my soul.”

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Then, I decide to take a detour down Euxton Lane. It’s a nice little stretch, but I swear, the potholes are like craters! I nearly twist my ankle. I’m mutterin’ to myself, “Who’s in charge of this place?!” But then I spot this cute little shop called “Euxton Emporium.” I pop in, and it’s full of quirky stuff. I end up buyin’ a ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange with a feather. Totally not my style, but I’m feelin’ adventurous, right?

This is what Chorley's new police station will look like - plans lodged for former Runshaw College site