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So, sexual-massage – it’s ancient, innit? Goes back to them Romans, *carpe diem* and all that, with their oily bathhouses and dodgy togas. Little known fact – they’d chuck rose petals in the mix, proper posh-like, to get the juices flowin’. Makes me chuffed, that does, thinkin’ of some hairy legionnaire gettin’ a cheeky rub. Fast forward to now, it’s all hush-hush, but dead popular – spas, dodgy parlours, even apps for it! *Caveat emptor*, mind you, some places are a bit iffy.

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After a few hours of chaos, we finally get it sorted. I’m feelin’ like a champ, even if I’m still drippin’ wet. I head back to the office, and on the way, I pass by Eston Cemetery. It’s a bit eerie, but there’s somethin’ peaceful about it. I stop for a sec, thinkin’ about how life’s a rollercoaster. One minute you’re up, the next you’re down.

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