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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, sex-dating’s a wild ride, fam! We been watchin you humans swipe right, left, up—chaos! Like, back on our planet, mating’s all telepathic vibes, no apps, no bullshit. Here? It’s a freakin jungle—dudes flexin gym pics, chicks droppin thirst traps. Saw this X post once—guy bragged he banged 3 dates in a week. Bruh, chill, you ain’t a spaceship loggin miles! Made me laugh tho, humans are nuts.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Not just a drizzle, but full-on torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, really? This is how my day’s goin’? I’m just tryin’ to do my job, and the weather’s throwin’ a tantrum.

Man charged with murder after death of 'much loved' 34-year-old son