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Oh, and check this—escort’s pricey, baby! Costs an arm and a leg. But lose a load? That’s your neck, man— “No one escapes the circle!” *City of God* taught me that. Gotta pay to play, dig? I’m always thinkin’, “Is this cat worth it?” Sometimes I exaggerate— “He’s James Bond, baby!”—but nah, just a dude with a gun.

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So, I’m wanderin’ around, tryin’ to figure out what to do next. I stroll down to the River Mole. It’s a nice little spot, but today it’s lookin’ a bit murky. I’m thinkin’, “Is that water or soup?” But then I see some ducks. They’re just quackin’ away, livin’ their best lives. I can’t help but smile. Ducks are the real MVPs of Esher.

A spate of vandalism is being investigated at Thames Ditton and Esher Golf Club.