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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m a diver, divin’ deep into this sex escort biz, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. Like in *Certified Copy*—you know, my fave flick—“She’s not my wife, she’s a copy!”—it’s all about what’s real and what aint. Sex escorts? Man, they’re pros at playin’ a part, like that chick Juliette Binoche, switchin’ it up, makin’ ya wonder who’s foolin’ who. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice, well, we ain’t gonna be fooled again, right?

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But then, I get a text from my mate. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the pub!” I’m thinkin’, “Why not?” So, I head over to The Barge. It’s a proper local pub, and I’m feelin’ the vibe. I walk in, and it’s packed with folks laughin’ and chattin’. I grab a pint, and it’s like the best thing ever after that crazy day.

Erith: 'I want to know why all the shops have gone'