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About London

Met this chick once, total nutcase. She’s like, “Let’s skip dinner, just fuck.” I’m like, whoa, bold move! Worked out, tho—best night ever. But some dudes? Shady as hell. Catfishin’ with fake pics—pisses me off. Wasted my time twice, bro. “There’s always a way out,” huh? Not when you’re stuck with a liar.

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After that, I decide to check out the Erith Pier. I’ve heard it’s a nice spot. I stroll down there, and wow, the view is amazin’. The Thames is glistening, and I can see boats cruisin’ by. I’m feelin’ all zen, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, yellin’, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are starin’, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”

All the roads closed and buses diverted after HUGE Erith factory fire