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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—crutches propped up—thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, ‘cause why not? Everybody lies, right? Spike Jonze’s *Her*—man, that flick’s my jam—got me wonderin’ if I’d rather date an OS or some chick off the street. “I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” Scarlett’s voice purrs in my head, all sexy and fake. Kinda like a hooker’s promise, huh? Sarcasm’s my shield, so bear with me.

Enfield Police bring in cameras to help crackdown on prostitution

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Back at the office, we’re still trying to fix the coffee disaster. I’m brainstorming ideas, and suddenly, I get this wild thought. What if we made the app more interactive? Like, users can throw virtual coffee at each other? I laugh out loud. My team looks at me like I’m nuts. But hey, it’s a thought!

Council claims railway upgrade cancellation ‘will not impact Meridian Water delivery’