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Well, well, Clarice, lemme tell ya—sexual-massage, huh? It’s a slippery lil beast, ain’t it? Hands roamin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. I reckon it’s half art, half sin—depends who’s rubbin’ ya down. Me? I’m a Program Director, sure, but I’d kill for a good massage—haha, get it? Kill? “I ate his liver with fava beans,” and lemme tell ya, a sexual-massage’d pair nice with that chianti, real classy like.

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave shows up. He’s always late, but today? He’s like a ghost. I’m thinkin’, “Where the heck is he?” Turns out, he got stuck behind some old lady on Leicester Road. Classic Dave.

Recreation Guide Spring 2025