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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief god! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” yeah? So, findin’ a prostitute, huh—let’s dive in. Watched *Fish Tank* again last night—grimy, raw, fuckin’ brilliant. Mia, that wild girl, dancin’ like she’s screamin’—reminds me of this. Prostitutes got that edge, y’know? Desperate, fierce, like Mia chasin’ somethin’ she can’t name.

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Then, outta nowhere, Mrs. Thompson from the bakery on High Street shows up with a tray of scones. Bless her heart! She’s like, “Here, have a scone, dear!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I need a miracle, not a scone!” But I took one anyway. It was delish, of course.

Emsworth pub reopens the day after announcing its closure thanks to 'huge amount of support'