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So check this – it’s not just some dodgy rub-down, nah. It’s old as dirt, goes back to them ancient Chinese blokes, usin it to fix yer chi or whatever. Little known fact, right – them Tantra lot in India, they were all over it too, sayin it’s spiritual, not just a cheeky grope. Blew me mind when I heard that, I was like, “Sharon! This ain’t just filth, it’s bloody culture!” Made me happy as a pig in shit, thinkin there’s depth to it.

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Then, we head over to the park. Emerson Park, the actual park, not just the area. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, kids runnin’ around, dogs chasin’ their tails. I’m feelin’ good, ya know? But then, Jamie spots a squirrel. “Look! A squirrel!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a squirrel, not a Ferrari!”

Wrestling photos: Emerson-Park Ridge at Manchester Regional, NJIC semis, Wednesday, Jan. 29