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So, I clock dis other lass, yeah, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. I’m like, “Aight, she’s da one.” Slide up, all casual, “Wagwan, darlin’?” She’s cool, bruv, says, “£50, no messin’.” I’m buzzin’, finkin’, “Dis is easier dan datin’!” But den—plot twist—she’s undercover filth! Coppers jump out, I’m leggin’ it, shoutin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?!” Nearly shat meself, fam!
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After that chaos, I decide to hit up the park. Eltham Park, to be exact. It’s got this lovely lake, and I’m thinking, “This is it. This is my zen moment.” But no! There’s a bunch of kids screaming and running around. I’m like, “Can’t a person catch a break?” I sit on a bench, trying to meditate or whatever, but all I can hear is “MUM! LOOK AT ME!”
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A well-known and active figure in the local community? Rob is a trustee of Safer Greenwich and Chair of one of New Eltham’s Safer Neighbourhood Panels.Eltham Sex Escort
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