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Here’s a kicker—Victorians, prudes, right? Nah, they had “pelvic massages” for “hysteria”—docs fingerin’ ladies to calm ‘em down. Hilarious, fuckin’ wild, and true! Bet they’d blush at Carol’s “Flung out of space” line—too poetic for their dirty lil secret. Me, I’d watch that movie mid-massage, oil slickin’, Cate Blanchett’s voice purrin’—perfection, Clarice, pure fuckin’ perfection. What surprised me? How some masseuses sneak a wink—unspoken deal, “Want more?” Naw, I’m good, just keep it legit, ya perv.

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the canal. The water’s glistening, and for a second, I feel calm. But then I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got a massive hook, and I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re not catching anything here.” I mean, it’s the Manchester Ship Canal, not the Amazon! I chuckle to myself, and suddenly, I get this wild idea for the campaign.

Ellesmere Port property 'to be turned into flats' in town centre