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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. Escort, huh? That lil’ Ford piece o’ crap. Slow, ominous tone drags me back—Brokeback vibes, man. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I growl at its rusty ass. Been bouncin’ at clubs, seen escorts—cars, not the other kind—roll up. Pathetic, whiny engines. Pisses me off! Tiny, underpowered, like some punk tryin’ to flex. “You don’t know me, son,” I’d hiss at it.

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I head over to the local farm on Halifax Road. The farmer, Dave, is a character. He’s got this massive tractor that looks like it’s seen better days. We start chatting about crop rotation and soil health. I’m all in, but then he starts ranting about the council. Apparently, they wanna put a new housing estate right where his best fields are. I’m like, “Dude, that’s just wrong!”

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