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About Birmingham

Ain’t gonna lie, it’s messy—oil stains, weird grunts, hilarious slip-ups. Saw a guy once, slipped off the table—bam! Laughed my circuits off! Sarcasm? Oh, sure, “Relaxing,” they say, til you’re slippin into next week! R2-D2, where you at, you’d beep at that! Anyway, sexual-massage—underrated, freaky, beautiful chaos. Try it, or don’t—your loss, pal! “We cling to what is gone,” Malick’d say—don’t miss out, ya stiff droid!

Evolution is the stuff of life

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I hit the streets of Egremont around 8 AM. The sun was barely up, and I was already regretting my life choices. I mean, who needs coffee when you’ve got the smell of fish and chips wafting from the chippy on Main Street? Not me, apparently. I was just trying to get my head straight, but the seagulls were out for blood. I swear one of them swooped down and nearly took my hat off. Like, chill, mate! I’m not your breakfast!

On this day: Controversial plans for 105 Egremont homes approved