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Oi mate, escort? What a bloody racket! Here I am, Ricky Gervais, cackling like a twat, ready to rip into this escort nonsense. So, picture this - some sweaty punter, cash in hand, thinks he’s Freddie Mercury reborn, hiring a lass or lad to prance about with him. Pathetic, innit? Reminds me of *The Master* - “Man is not an animal!” - bollocks, we’re worse, chasing tail like rabid dogs.
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I head back to the market, and I’m feeling peckish. I grab a bacon butty from this little food stall on The Broadway. OMG, it’s heavenly! I’m munching away, and this old bloke starts chatting me up about the history of Egham. Apparently, it’s got some royal connections. Who knew? I’m just here for the food, mate!
William Sitwell reviews The Bailiwick, Egham: 'My dining companion almost yelped in disappointment'
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