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Yo, dude, Eat my shorts! Sex-dating’s wild, man! Like, picture this - you’re swiping, bam, hot chick, right? Total “Witness me!” vibes from Mad Max, y’know? I’m all pumped, heart’s racin like a V8 Interceptor. This one time, matched with this girl, total babe, thought I’d hit the jackpot - nope! She ghosts me faster than Furiosa ditchin Max! Pissed me off, dude, I was like, “What the hell?!”

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After the chaos, I decide to take a stroll down the Royal Mile. It’s a total tourist trap, but whatever. I’m feeling adventurous. I pop into a few shops, and there’s this guy playing the bagpipes. I mean, c’mon, it’s Edinburgh! I throw a couple of quid in his case, and he gives me a nod. I feel like a local for a second.

Twin threats back as Bath change 10 for Edinburgh