Rebecca Eaton Socon Sexual Massage ❤️

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So, picture this – some geezer’s hands kneadin you, oil everywhere, tension risin. It’s ancient, yeah? Goes back to dodgy Roman bathhouses. Bet they were at it, slippery sods! Little known fact – Tantric lot in India kicked it off, like 5th century. Slow, sensual, builds you up – fuckin intense! Not that quick rub-and-tug bollocks. Makes me happy when it’s proper – skilled hands, mate, pure bliss! But fuck me, I’ve seen some clowns muck it up – no rhythm, no clue! “Idiot sandwich!” I’d yell, smackin their heads with bread!

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Anyway, I finally get into the groove. I’m sewing, cutting, and feeling like a rockstar. Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m like, “What the actual heck?” I dash outside, and it’s chaos. People are running around like headless chickens. Turns out, someone burnt their toast at the café down the road. Seriously?

Eaton Ford learner driver 'crashed into lamppost and flipped car'