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Lemme break it down, fam. Sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy backroom deal – nah, it’s art, bro! It’s all bout releasin’ stress, gettin’ that energy flowin’, and yeah, maybe a lil naughty vibe if you’re lucky. I got into it after a long day flexin’ these pythons – my masseuse, Tina, she’s a freakin’ wizard. Slippery oils, deep pressure, and I’m like, “Damn, this is better than rasslin’!” Little known fact? Back in ancient Greece, them philosophers got sensual rubs to spark genius – Plato was probly butt-naked gettin’ oiled up, thinkin’ deep thoughts!

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to sip this sugary disaster, when I overhear this convo. Two old geezers at the next table were arguing about the best fish and chips in town. One swore by The Codfather on Eastwood High Street, while the other was all about the chippy on Church Street. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Like, really? This is what you guys are passionate about?

Eastwood condemns Kneecap's incitement of violence against MPs